What is Ageism?

Ageism is when someone gets treated differently because of their real or perceived chronological age. Ageism sets up unrealistic expectations and assumptions for people based on their chronological age and can result in neglect, intentional disregard for a person’s input, and even a lack of validation of someone’s existence. In severe cases, ageism can result in dehumanization, including extreme isolation, abuse, and neglect which can even lead to death. People of all chronological ages have hopes and dreams for themselves and the ability to learn, grow, and thrive. No one should ever have to feel like they don’t matter, no matter what age they are.

Institutionalized

Institutionalized ageism happens when it is the policy or practice of a group, business, organization, or government to treat people differently because of their real or perceived chronological age, and without regard to a person’s own unique physical, emotional, cognitive abilities and self-determination. 

Rejecting Ageism and Dismantling the Chronological Age Lens

The first step in rejecting ageism is saying it’s not okay and dismantling the “Chronological Age Lens.”

The Chronological Age Lens assumes all people develop and mature physically, cognitively and emotionally at the same chronological age. This lens sets hard and fast age parameters and expectations. For example, children should walk at 1, teenagers should enter puberty by 13, and people are not mentally developed nor able to enter into contracts until the age of 18. This also lens assumes that all people should reach certain personal and social milestones, like developing their career or starting a family, at certain ages. In addition, this lens assumes that all people will begin to decline in their physical, mental and emotional abilities after they reach a certain age. In addition to individualized age-based expectations, the Chronological Age lens assumes that people born in certain generations are inherently better or worse than those born in others – Specifically, this lens often assigns different social values and expectations for different generations.

Spectrum-Based View of Humanity

What Does Age Mean?

Chronological age simply refers to the number of years we have been alive. More specifically, it refers to the number of times Earth has gone around the sun since we were born. While there is a lot of correlation between our chronological age, our physical, cognitive and emotional development, and our experiences, the number of times Earth has been around the sun does not inherently dictate our abilities, our emotional maturity level, or when we experience certain things. 

Learning and Dependency Status

All human beings are born dependent on others for learning, taking care of their bodies, and getting their basic needs met. Most societies have determined that parental, guardian and/or societal guidance is necessary until such time that we are able to demonstrate our ability to take care of ourselves, make decisions, take well-informed risks, and to learn, grow and develop to the best of our abilities. Some people grow completely out of this dependency phase, some people don’t grow out of this phase, and some people return to this phase at other times their lives for a variety of reasons. Some people may also leave dependency status from their parents or guardians, yet maintain dependency status in their other relationships. While chronological age can be a correlating factor, our own abilities, self-determination and social rules and policies often influence our dependency status. 

Physical, Cognitive, and Emotional Development

Each of us has a wide range of abilities that can impact our relationships and our abilities to reach our own unique highest and fullest potential. Generally speaking, our physical, cognitive, and emotional development starts before we’re even born and continues throughout the rest of our life. Human societies often observe human development in stages marked similarly to the following: 

• Childhood (birth-12), which includes birth, basic skills and language development, highly inquisitive learning, and dependence on others for learning and meeting basic needs – all pre-puberty; 
• Puberty and adolescence (13-17), which includes phases of increased learning; skills, abilities and relationship testing; enhanced exploration; further brain and abilities development; decrease in dependence on others; and development of secondary sex characteristics, such as increased body hair, menstruation and erections; 
• Early-adulthood (18-25), which includes completion of puberty, final “filling out” of the body; continued testing and exploration; increased independence; passion-finding and expertise development; 
• Adulthood (26-65), which includes increased independence; increased contributions to one’s family and the community-at-large; and mastery of skills and passions; and
• Seniorhood (65+), which includes wisdom and knowledge sharing; and possible decline in abilities. 

While these phases are common observations, and can correlate to our chronological age, these phases are not necessarily universal to all human beings. For example, there are 12-year-old chess geniuses, and there are 90-year olds who go to work and exercise each and every day. Some people enter puberty earlier or later than others, and some people never go through puberty at all. Some people know themselves and their passions during “childhood”, and some people truly get to know themselves and their passions much later in life. Some people learn relationship and emotional skills from their families of origin, and some people learn them well-into “seniorhood”. Some people never develop these skills at all. Some people reach a plateau in all or some parts of their development, while some people continue to learn, grow, develop and mature throughout their entire lives. Some people experience a decline in their abilities due “natural wear and tear” from long-time use, while others experience this much earlier on. And some people never experience a decline in their abilities at all. While chronological age can be a correlating factor to our physical, emotional and cognitive development, each of us is unique. 

Independence, Autonomy and Self-Determination

Our ability to reach own unique highest and fullest potential includes being able to exercise our human rights and meet our basic needs. Being able to exercise our rights and meet our basic also depends on our ability to make decisions in the best interest of ourselves and others, but also to make mistakes, and to try and experience new things to see if they are right for us. Some people need the input and guidance of others throughout the entire lives, while some people are able to quickly understand their surroundings – as well as the impacts, outcomes, risks and rewards – of their actions. Some people need periodic reminders, while some people know exactly what they want and need to do to achieve their goals. While our ability to make informed decisions in the best interest of ourselves and others – and to take informed risks – can correlate to our age, the ability to exercise self-determination is more closely related to our own unique physical, cognitive and emotional abilities and our experience and expertise. 

Maturity

Maturity refers to the level of growth we can achieve with regard to our own unique physical, cognitive and emotional development, as well as our level of independence and self-determination. Our maturity levels can also refer to our level of social, community and skills development. The maturity levels we achieve can be influenced by many factors. This can include factors related to our body – such as natural growth processes and brain development – and our cultural and social environments. They can also include opportunities we’ve had during our lifetime, and our overall physical, mental, and emotional health. Our relationships and experiences also play an important role in our overall maturity and development. Because there are so many factors, some people may advance, develop and mature much sooner than others, and some people may do so much slower than others. Some people reach full maturity in all or certain areas of development early on, while some people never reach maturity in certain areas at all. How we perceive another’s person’s maturity level can also correlate to our own sense of maturity. For example, if we believe we have mastered interpersonal communication, we may find those that don’t communicate the same way we do as immature. This perception does not mean we are correct, however. Each of our maturity levels can manifest differently, and only we know if we have truly reached our highest level.

Expertise

In addition to factors related to the natural aging of our bodies and brains, our physical, cognitive, and emotional abilities are heavily influenced by our environment, opportunities, and experiences. Many people experience diversity, opportunities, adversity, struggles and triumphs at different points in their lives. These experiences can accelerate or slow our physical, cognitive and emotional development, our ability to make decisions, and our maturity levels regardless of our chronological age. When we’re alive longer, we often have the opportunity and ability to engage in more situations, or to practice skills and passions longer. This level of longevity can influence our expertise. However, our ability to master a task is not necessarily defined by the length of time we’ve been doing it. Some people are able to pick things up right away, and some people need longer immersions in their environment or practicing their skill sets to fully master their abilities. Once we’ve mastered our experiences and expertise, we can often teach others and provide instructions on those topics. 

Generations

Just as we grow and develop individually, human civilizations grow and evolve, too. Our collective knowledge, tools, technologies and the laws and policies we use can have an impact on all people who are living during a certain time. For example, people born between 1946 and 1965 were born during times of war (WWII, the Korean War, and the beginning of Viet Nam), increasing protests against the U.S. government, and the Civil Rights movement. These experiences likely had an impact on their own lives, as well as how they raised their children. People born in the 1980’s and 1990’s were born during an age of increased economic opportunity and technological advances in how we communicate. However, their formative and young adult years also included 9/11, which had significant impact on privacy – and other policies and laws – and began a new extended time of war and economic instability. Generally, these time frames – and the people who are born in these time frames – are referred to as “generations”. 

Once again, however, the chronological time frame is just a piece of what is meant by “generation.” It also includes the level of advancement of human rights and governments during that time frame, and the availability of information and technology during a person’s formative years. Having access to advanced technology, or experiencing war at a young age, can greatly impact our experiences, worldview, and our overall physical, cognitive and emotional development. In addition, experiencing oppression or discrimination during our formative years can impact our future outlook overall. 

While each of us can be impacted by the environmental, political and social opportunities available during a particular time, we also maintain the ability to learn, grow and thrive, regardless of when we were born. Further, we can each learn from and appreciate traditions and technologies from the past and present. For example, many people today listen to music from previous generations, and many people take advantage of the newest and latest technologies regardless of their age. Of course, some people prefer the contemporary or new music, and some people prefer technologies from the past. While our “generation” can influence us, when we are born does not necessarily dictate our personal joys, beliefs or passions. 

Input and Value

Most people want to have their input, expertise and experience valued and appreciated by those around them regardless of their chronological age, physical, cognitive, and emotional development, maturity level, life experiences, or the generation they were born in. Generally speaking, we want our contributions, thoughts and feelings to matter to those around us. No matter our age, we continue to have the same basic needs, including adequate food and shelter, and a sense of security. We also often have a desire to feel loved, belong to our communities, and to engage in life and experience joy. It’s important to acknowledge that for ourselves and our own generation, as well as those who are younger and older than us, too.

Social Policies

Human societies often seek to enact policies and laws that protect the most vulnerable, and particularly those in the learning or dependency status phases of life. For example, a parent or guardian can set a curfew, and when a film is rated PG-13, it means that a parent or guardian is required to attend the movie theater with a person who is under the age of 13. This so that the parent/guardian can provide guidance if situations are presented that a younger person might not understand. Similarly, in the United States, the age of 18 is when people are legally determined to be an adult and can enter into contracts. Often, these laws are based on known developmental trends at the time. 

However, there is no universal chronological age for “adulthood” or physical, mental or emotional maturity. While these laws can provide for greater protection for people who are vulnerable, or who develop more slowly, they can also criminalize and take away human rights and personal agency (or self-determination) for people who are fully capable of making their own decisions. Sometimes, these rules can also seem arbitrary. For example, one day adults aged 18 and above were allowed to buy cigarettes and alcohol, and the next day, due to a change in law (not a change in human development), adults under 21 who tried smoking or alcohol became criminals under the law. Further, some adults may never gain – or lose – their ability to make decisions for themselves due to their own unique physical, cognitive and emotional abilities. Sometimes in these cases, a guardian may make decisions on behalf of someone even when they’re legally considered an adult. 

Beliefs to Challenge

I think the generation after/before me had it so much easier.

Human First Lens 

I recognize each generation has advantages and obstacles to overcome based on the world around them during that time. I know that it may be somewhat different, but not necessarily easier or harder. I honor and recognize the challenges in my own generation, as well as those of other generations. In fact, learning about the experiences from people of different generations than myself can help me learn more about the world around me.

Belief to Challenge

I value older people’s opinion above younger people’s opinion.   

Human First Lens

I recognize that all people have valid life experiences that can happen at any age – as well as potential insight. I can listen to and consider input from a person of any age.

Belief to Challenge

I think I/other people should be married and have children by a certain age. 

Human First Lens

I recognize that people have the ability to set goals for themselves, and to do things that bring them joy and happiness. I know that for some people this includes starting a family or relationship, and for others it does not. I also know that deciding when to start a family, gets married or have children also includes many other internal and environmental factors, such as economics, finding a partner, achieving personal or career goals, and other factors – none of which are directly related to a person’s chronological age.

Beliefs to Challenge

Sometimes I see younger or older people as a burden.  

Human First Lens

I recognize that each of us started out young, and that each of us is likely to get older. I can contribute to my community by helping people all of all ages who need help. I also know I may need help in the future, too. I also recognize that younger people will get older, and I have an opportunity to help them form the older person they will become.

Beliefs to Challenge

I think older/younger people are slow and I get frustrated.

Human First Lens

I recognize we all learn, grow, and develop at different rates, and that sometimes I need to be patient when those around me have not had the same opportunities or experiences I have had. I would want this patience showed towards me as well.

Beliefs to Challenge

I think those who are my same age should be at the same level as me, or that I should be at a different place based on my age.

Human First Lens

I recognize that we all have different life experiences and development opportunities that can impact where we are at this point in our lives. I recognize there is no right way to be, and that each of us is on a journey to become the best that we can be – no matter how long it takes.

Beliefs to Challenge

I think people of certain age should have learned certain things by now.

Human First Lens

I recognize that many factors play into our personal development, and that all people have not had the same opportunities as I have had. As long as someone is alive, they still have the opportunity to learn and grow.

Belief to Challenge

I assume things about a person’s abilities based on their age.

Human First Lens

I recognize a person’s abilities may or may not be related to their age. I can support and nurture someone’s independence and self-determination regardless of their age and I can offer support to someone I see struggling as well.

If you have been a victim of ageism, it’s important to remember that your experience and life matters and that you have a positive impact on those around you even if you don’t necessarily see it on a daily basis. Your existence and being impacts many people and sometimes entire communities just because you’re you. If you’ve come across others who aren’t able to appreciate you in this way, it is important to remember that is not a reflection of you. It can be helpful to redirect your own attention to a project, hobby, or passion through which your experience, talent and knowledge can make a positive impact and is appreciated. This applies to people of all ages.

If ageism has impacted your sense of well-being, or you have feelings of depression or suicide, it may be helpful to speak with a professional, or to get some community support. There are services available for people of all ages who struggle with their life circumstances. The number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Help is available. If you are or someone you know is being abused or neglected in any way, including restriction of food, housing, denial of medical care or assistance, or exploitation or theft (either as a child or an older adult), please immediately reach out to a trusted friend and/or your local police department. Abuse is never okay – and particularly for those who are most vulnerable and defenseless. If you have experienced age discrimination in your employment, in housing, or in a public accommodation, you may also wish to file a complaint with your local, state or federal civil rights office. Ageism is illegal.

If you have come to realize you may have been ageist towards others, it’s important to remember that all people are worthy of having their life experiences heard and validated, and that all people are deserving of connecting with the community, forming healthy relationships, and having their basic needs met with dignity and respect. You can make a change by enhancing your empathy skills and remembering to treat people with kindness and respect regardless of their real or perceived age.

Interpersonal

We can interrupt ageism any time we see it by reminding others that people of all ages deserve to have their experiences and needs recognized and valued. We can also reassert that each person’s physical, cognitive, and emotional abilities are unique to themselves – and that self-determination is important at any age. Many times we can also lead by example by creating and nurturing environments where people of all ages are welcome, included, celebrated and appreciated. 

Systemic

We can make sure that all people receive the support and care they need, regardless of their real or perceived age. We can also ensure that laws and policies that have age restrictions do not criminalize or marginalize those who can and are able to make decisions on behalf of themselves.